A fish in water doesn’t know its water…*
The other day, I caught myself saying; “If I can do it, anybody can do it.” That may or may not be true… but that isn’t really the point… the point is, that all too often we become so familiar with our talents and skills that we overlook the true value we and our skills and talents have.
In large part, those strengths, skills, talents, and abilities that make us unique, are the ones we tend to undervalue the most. They come easily to us. We are so familiar with them, that we do not place value on them.** All too often we overvalue the talents of others… in the grass is always greener syndrome…
Familiarity doesn’t breed contempt, it breeds indifference. There are logical reasons why we tend to be indifferent and undervalue our own skills, talents, and abilities and overvalue those of others. We learn from the time we are very young to use compare and contrast as a way of learning and understanding the world. Many times, we judge our worth on the compare and contrast method. Unfortunately, we sell ourselves short all too often. Instead choose to acknowledge that your behaviors are always a choice. You are in complete control. Remember, how you relate to yourself, is how you relate to the world. Others will not value what you do, if you do not. So next time you catch someone, (maybe even you) making a similar judgment statement, consider, if anybody could do what you do, don’t you think they would be doing it?
“Too many people overvalue what they are not, and undervalue what they are.” ~Malcolm Forbes
Have a great day in whatever your adventure.
To Life! To Success!
Sharon
*A fish in water doesn’t know its water…because it is in it all day…
Is it SWIRLING all around you?
I don’t know about you, but I can’t listen to any news broadcast these days that isn’t full of doom and gloom. Perhaps you are feeling it in one way or another too, maybe the pocketbook…
As a child, my beloved Aunt Myrtle used to say “You are about as wealthy as you make up your mind to be.” As I grew older, I have heard “about as happy as you make up your mind to be,” but she meant more than happy—wealthy is more than a feeling, it is a state of being—wealthy in body, mind, spirit and pocketbook.
Lately, in our coaching practice we hear words of resignation… it’s understandable, but no way to live and thrive. Why resignation? The simple answer is: if not watchful, you may tend to pick up the thoughts, feelings and habits of those around you.
With the news full of depression and despair, it wreaks havoc on our imagination and creatively—two necessary items needed to change any situation. Imagining something better leads to possibilities, possibilities lead to creativity, which leads to new beginnings.
We are more powerful than any present circumstance.
The trick is to be aware of the world around you without it shattering you. Stay open to change. Transfer your focus to other things (sometimes I have the world’s cleanest bathrooms.) Let it go, even for a short while. Allow the subconscious to work with imagination and creativity. By letting go and shifting focus, we shift energy away from the problem and “energize” possibilities.
If you have ever survived something, maybe a medical condition, a job loss, an accident… somewhere inside you, you have already discovered that even though you have not beaten the odds of bad things happening, you have used your imagination and creativity to overcome them.
Limitations are a trick of the mind. You may not be responsible for a less-than-desirable event, but you are responsible for your choice in how you react or resolve it. Once you make up your mind to achieve what you want, you will find a way around obstacles.
“Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just as soon as you can change your beliefs.” ~Maxwell Maltz~
Have a great day in whatever your adventure,
To Success! To Life!
Sharon
Tell me more…about communication
“…If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought…”
~George Orwell
At times, things just come out of my mouth… and it’s not until it falls out of my mouth that I’m aware it has an assumption (or two.) Last week, I was trying to express myself to my friend Sparks; it just wasn’t as clear as it could have been. In response, instead of frustration, pushing or prodding I heard 3 wonderful words… “Tell me more.”
Respectful Inquiry
It is amazing how things just seem to align… last Tuesday on my Blog Talk Radio show Beyond Lip Service, I had the pleasure of interviewing Marian Way (www.apricotisland.com/). Her specialty is Clean Language*, a process for helping others explores their own metaphors, and gain insights into their thinking and behaviors. As the name implies, it is ‘clean / neutral.’ It is also very flexible.
Clean Language started as a therapeutic tool, but can be used with everyday events, including:
• Interviewing
• Modeling different skills and perceptions
• Coaching and feedback
• Meetings and job appraisals
• Team building and decision-making
• Self-discovery and exploration
Clean Language strives to put our assumptions aside to let the other person be heard and understood. That’s when the beauty of “tell me more,” became apparent. Now, “tell me more” is not Clean Language, but it serves a similar purpose…
Consider a statement as simple as “What are you thinking?” Seems tame enough, yet it assumes that they are thinking something. So it could be changed to, “Are you thinking anything?” Yet, that still assumes they are thinking. Changing the statement to be ‘clean / neutral’ “Is there anything else about that?” could include thinking or feeling or listening or hearing…
Some Clean Language phrases that can be slipped into a conversation are:
• “What kind of … is that?”
• “Is there anything else about that?”
• “What would you like?”
The key to using Clean Language and thoughtful communication is not trying to make anything happen. I find again and again, that others have their own answers, and creating an assumption and belief-free zone for someone to discover their own insights is respectful and more effective than any remedy I may come up with.
“The human soul doesn’t want to be fixed, it simply wants to be seen and heard. The soul is like a wild animal – tough, resilient and shy. When we go crashing through the woods shouting for it to come out so we can help it, the soul will stay in hiding. But if we are willing to sit quietly and wait for a while, the soul may show itself. ~ “The Courage to Teach” ~ Parker J. Palmer”
Have a great day whatever your adventure
To Success! To Life!
Sharon
*Clean Language was developed by psychotherapist, David Grove, as a way to keep his assumptions at bay, so he could work directly with his clients’ perceptions.
I thought you might find this interesting. Love, Dad
Multi-tasking or Multi-time-taking
